Humor — March 22, 2012 at 8:52 pm

CPRoundup: Mitt’s Math

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Columbia Political Review’s newest feature, CPRoundup, is our weekly recap of political news.   

As the Republican presidential race drags on, there has been no shortage of headlines made by the ever-dwindling list of candidates hoping to run against Barack Obama to lead the free world. The past few weeks have been no exception, as recent primary losses have led Mitt Romney to finagle every delegate he can. Santorum, meanwhile, hasn’t been making friends in Puerto Rico. On the Democratic front, President Obama visited the oil fields of New Mexico on Wednesday to show that domestic oil is alive and kicking.

  • Obama in New Mexico: Living in New York creates a bit of a bubble, but apparently, gas prices across the country have been rising steadily as they are wont to do as the weather gets warmer. But many see this as President Obama’s fault, despite the man’s inability to control the global oil markets and the forces of supply and demand. In order to put minds at ease, Obama visited New Mexico’s oil fields on Wednesday to show that domestic oil production exists and that he is trying to help the situation. As a New Mexico native, I can say that it takes a lot of guts to go to rural parts of the state as a Democrat and expect a warm welcome. I know the president means well, but he should probably aim closer to the Democratic stronghold of Santa Fe. I’m sure the White House needs a kokopelli figurine, or maybe the First Lady is in want of turquoise.
  • Santorum offends Puerto RicoRick Santorum is a lot of things, and politically correct isn’t one of them. He’s called the President a “snob” and said that John F. Kennedy’s 1960 speech on the role of religion in politics made him want to throw up. So it may not surprise people that he has managed to offend most people in Puerto Rico by saying that Puerto Ricans speaking English would “be a requirement for statehood.” Santorum has defended his stance, saying that English has been mandated for other states, but a Tucson Sentinel article written by Factcheck.org staffers has pointed out that Santorum may be neglecting details. Again, in the words of the brilliant Stephen Colbert, “It takes a lot of cojones to go to Puerto Rico and tell them to stop saying cojones.” Maybe that’s why Santorum lost Puerto Rico to Romney, even though most Puerto Ricans have no idea who Romney is.
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